Marriage is meant to be more than a daily grind of responsibilities, schedules, and obligations. It is designed to be a place of deep connection, shared purpose, and joy. Yet, too many couples find themselves stuck in survival mode coexisting rather than truly living together. We know this because we’ve been there. But we also know that thriving is possible.
After 36 years of marriage, navigating seasons of struggle and disconnection, we’ve learned that a thriving marriage isn’t about avoiding difficulties it’s about building something stronger through them. Here’s how you and your spouse can move from merely surviving to fully thriving together.
1. Clarify Your Shared Purpose
A thriving marriage isn’t just about love. It’s about purpose. God designed marriage to be a partnership that reflects His love and furthers His kingdom. When you and your spouse align with a shared vision, your relationship gains energy, direction, and a reason to keep growing.
Ask yourselves: What is God calling us to do together? Maybe it’s raising godly children, serving in ministry, or building a business that blesses others. Whatever it is, let that purpose fuel your marriage.
2. Prioritize Connection Over Convenience
It’s easy to slip into routines where conversations revolve around logistics instead of the heart. But thriving marriages don’t just communicate they connect.
• Daily check-ins: Ask each other meaningful questions beyond “How was your day?”
• Intentional touch: A hug, a hand squeeze, or a loving glance can remind your spouse that you see them.
• Undistracted time: Put the phones down, turn off the TV, and engage in face-to-face moments that matter.
3. Invest in Growth, Not Just Maintenance
You don’t just maintain a thriving marriage you grow it. Survival mode often looks like putting out fires, but thriving comes from intentionally sowing into your relationship.
• Get help before you feel stuck. Coaching isn’t just for struggling marriages; it’s for couples who want more.
• Attend marriage workshops or retreats. These are powerful reset moments.
• Read, learn, and apply. Strong marriages are built on wisdom, not wishful thinking.
4. Choose Grace Over Grudges
Holding onto resentment keeps your marriage stuck. A thriving relationship is one where forgiveness is a lifestyle, not an occasional event.
• Give grace quickly. Your spouse will fail you, and you will fail them. Extend the same grace you’d want to receive.
• Talk about what’s bothering you don’t let it fester.
• Make reconciliation a habit. Apologize well and often.
5. Protect and Cultivate Intimacy
Intimacy is more than physical connection it’s emotional, spiritual, and relational closeness. Thriving couples nurture all of these areas.
• Spiritual intimacy: Pray together, study God’s Word, and invite Him into your marriage.
• Emotional intimacy: Share your fears, dreams, and struggles openly.
• Physical intimacy: Make affection and sexual connection a priority, not an afterthought.
6. Be Faithful in the Small Things
A thriving marriage is built in the everyday moments not just in the big, grand gestures. Consistency matters more than intensity.
• Speak words of affirmation daily.
• Show up for each other in small ways.
• Choose faithfulness, even when it feels unnoticed.
Thriving Is a Choice
Your marriage doesn’t have to stay in survival mode. The shift from surviving to thriving isn’t a one-time event it’s a series of daily choices. It’s choosing connection over convenience, growth over stagnation, and purpose over passivity.
If you feel stuck, don’t settle. You are not meant to just endure marriage you are meant to enjoy it. And if you need guidance, we’re here to help.
Your marriage was designed to thrive. Will you choose to build it that way?